Friday, May 16, 2008

Getting Started Pt. 2: If Only I Knew...

This is a list of things that I just didn't know until I became a parent. For you wise-asses out there, yes, this is only a partial list.

1. That healthy baby poo is yellow, with little things that look like mustard seeds in it. I know I just wrote about this, but this still blows me away. Seriously, mustard seeds? Wow.

2. That babies are born unable to shed tears as their tear ducts are closed at birth.

3. That babies are born without knee caps.

4. That newborns really can't see, either.

5. That nursing mothers probably shouldn't have sushi, for some stupid reason. (Note: the whole sushi ban for pregnant women and new mothers kind of doesn't make sense. Last I checked Japan was doing okay, population-wise, at least.)

6. That some babies just don't like to sleep.

7. That it takes the remnants of the umbilical cord way too long to finally fall off, and that it looks pretty nasty when it finally does. And that it starts to smell!

8. That you basically shouldn't take your baby anywhere for its first few weeks of life if you can avoid it, as it has very little in the way of immunity.

9. That I suddenly would need to wash my hands more than Lady MacBeth.

10. That what we make for dinner can have a nasty effect on my wife's breast milk. As a result, no more Thai food! Which sucks, because we love Thai food, but it made the baby literally cry for a day straight because she got colic.

11. That colic is a digestive condition where your baby gets such bad gas that it turns into a something as loud, persistent and maddening as a car alarm.

12. That I would become even more nervous when the baby is silent and wake her up just to make sure she is alive during the night.

13. That the only song that I can sing that soothes her is "The Summer of '69" by Bryan Adams. Parents, be careful of what you play for the baby when she's in the womb!

14. That people will send you things, unbidden, from all over the world.

15. That when I tell people without kids what it's really like--crappy sleep, increased stress and pressure--they get kind of a weird, upset look on their face. But then I tell them I wouldn't change it for anything, and their look becomes even more strange.

1 comment:

Lauren said...

I hear you about the Thai food/colic situation. For me it was hibachi - my parents took me out for dinner in January, and Audrey was a crying, miserable mess that entire night. I've avoided all Asian food up until the past few weeks.

At least you guys were hip enough to figure out the correlation between the meal and the baby's fussiness. As long as Randi watches out for spicy foods and onions, and is thorough about burping the baby, colic should disappear.

Oh, and yes, baby poop is fascinating. ;)