(Reminder: These are all from real letters (remember those?) and emails received by my friend when he worked at a TV station.)
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MEDICAL MYSTERIES:
You can only loose your virginity once, by definition, and time travel hasn’t been invented yet.
From: xxxxxxxxxxxx@yahoo.com
About a year back my ex-boyfriend saw a program on TV I can’t really remember what channel he saw it on but I think it was 2020 but anyway there was this doctors office on Forrest Ave. that the doctor says he could give a woman back her virginity so he gave me the number and I call them to make an appointment to talk to the doctor a month before I did the surgery he told me that the surgery was common and that he had a lot of celebrity clients and that there would be no side effects I asked him if I could speak to any of his clients about it and he told me it was confidential but he did let me speak to his assistant because she herself had it so she told me that it was ok that her husband was happy and that I should do it so I said ok and put a payment of $1000 then I pay the balance on the day of the surgery which cost me $2000 plus $160 for blood test so after surgery I had to wait 30 days before I could do anything he told me the pain was only going to last 5 days I was in bed 14 days taking pain killers so I called him back and he told me to take twice the amount that I’m supposed to then I know something was not right about this man but anyway I had an appointment with him in 30 days I went back so he told me that I was free to have sex now so 4 days after I had sex with my boyfriend my vergina was the same as before so I call him and he told me to come in then he told me to wait another 30 days for it to fully heal he say every female is different some take longer to heal than others so again I listen to this fool so after 30 days was up I went back he told me everything is ok now I had sex again and I had the same result as before so I call and call and call he never return my call so I went there he told me if I want that he would do it over and that I only have to pay $500 so I said no! no more money I am giving you beside that I don’t want to do anything over so he told me to leave and good luck so I call a lawyer now I’m asking you for help I’m 21 years old and I don’t know what this guy did to me please help me I have no where else to turn.
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Just because you see it on TV doesn’t mean you should try it at home.
From: xxxxxxxxxxxxxx@yahoo.com (and his friend Cecil)
Seeking justice due to HBO over stepping the lines of sexual content in a television program. (graphic male intercourse) during primetime television. Please help, seeking medical attention.
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Sad story but I think there are too many problems here which go beyond my ability to fix.
From: xxxxxxxxxxxxx@verizon.net
I started a case with Social Security Disability. To sum it up, my paper work was sent to the appeals council in Virginia in June 2004… I started this case with two legs and ten toes. I now have one leg cut off below the knee, the other leg is missing all the toes and half the foot. I presently have diabetes, chronic heart failure, acid reflux disease, am anemic, two stints placed in my heart and had a stroke on my left side.
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But do they help your TV reception?
From: xxxxxx@camba.org
Hxxxxxx, please help.
In June 2002 I had surgery to reduce and lift my breasts and also a tummy tuck. Unfortunately, one breast is bigger than the other and on my tummy tuck one of the sides it looks like two bunny ears sticking out. It sounds kind of funny but it is the truth.
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Maybe God is trying to tell you something?
From: xxxxxxxxxxx@hotmail.com
Hello Mr. XXXXX, My husband and I have been trying to have children, but my husband has a sperm problem so we baught a product which claimed to resolve the problem. We tried the product for almost a year. My husband did the semen analysis and we found out this his sperm quality has been reduced to 0% but before taking this product it was 20%.
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