Below are contained the emails and letters from viewers that were either really short or just plain nuts.
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ONE LINERS:
This isn’t the Dr. Ruth show and we don’t do stories on common occurrences anyway.
From: xxxxxxxxx@aol.com
My girlfriend is pregnant and won’t give me sex.
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100mg of Prozac, as may times a day as necessary.
From: xxxxxxxxx@myboostmobile.com
Can you please tell me how to remove electronic mind control technology?
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A question that has stumped scientists for years…
From: xxxxxxxxx@aol.com
I’m asking you why does cafeteria food stink so badly??
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Well it’s better than being a pig…
From: xxxxxxx@mobil.att.net
Help I am a lamb.
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No.
From: xxxxxxxxx@yahoo.com.
Help!
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Pal, we’re journalists! Why? Because we’re terrible at math!
From: xxxxxx@yahoo.com
help me with math work.
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Thanks for SHARing
From: xxxxxxxx@e-mail.com
Why can’t more people learn and adapt SHARE attitudes?
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What channels are you watching, anyway? And why can’t we get those?
From: xxxxxxxx@nycollege.edu
Direct TV is jerking me around.
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PT. 2 BELLEVUE:
Doctors give out medication for a reason, don’t stop taking it all on your own.
From: XXXXXXXXXXX@yahoo.com
I really hope you can help me with my problem. Its going to sound quite bizarre if you’re not familiar with it but here goes. My name is Elina XXXXX XXXXXX and I live in Bloomfield, NJ. I don’t know if you recognize the name but I’m the person you and every other news anchor on every station looks at while presenting the news on air. This is something I’ve had to figure out on my own but I really need for someone to explain why I’m being looked at. I’ve kept these thoughts to myself and it feels like I’m living a double life. Keeping them secret is ruining my life even though I’ve had to do that so that I won’t be perceived as crazy. I hope you won’t consider me crazy. I’m not sure if you’re at liberty to talk to me but I would really appreciate if you could. I don’t know who else to turn to. I’m not hoping that you air this problem but after watching your last segment on how you helped a girl receive her Dad’s kidney even though he was in jail I feel hopeful that you won’t disappoint me. Thanks in advance.
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Lay off the psychedelics, the 60s were over a long time ago.
From: XXXXXXXXX@aol.com
There is proof of an after life, and proof of higher energetic existence. I live in such a way everyday. Proof of such an existence of Spirits is found within oneself. Many people look for physical proof with physical means. This will only get you physical proof. I will be glad to pass to you an experience of energy in a way you have probably not felt before.
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You should have made that left at Albuquerque!
From: XXXXXXXXXX
Looking for metaphysical Margot who passed through New Mexico last year. Margot, if you see this please click the link to contact me. If someone reads this who knows her please contact me.
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What the F….? It makes me wonder how much time is spent by the NSA wiretap program reading e-mails like this?
From: XXXXXXXXX@cs.com
The people that I see when I’m sleeping are very nice. I sent an e-mail to them that what they do is amazing…they are really cool. They are the cast of the TV program Friends…Love them!
I also sent an e-mail asking….why is it that we don’t have privacy? Also if they can help us because this is a family and we need our privacy. Also I need to take a class at the Long Island University. That was the reason I saw a counselor. They said that I caqn take the class to complete. Also I need to take some courses for the program that I’m and those courses are available online. We have the right of privacy.
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Oh, so now we know who to blame for “Cats.”
From: Christopher
What I am about to say in this letter is so incredible, it sounds unbelievable. But, it is the absolutely true. I have been the victim of a conspiracy for some twenty years. It began around 1980 when I met a woman who worked in a midtown Manhattan Bar. I began to talk about movies, plays, songs, and television programs. I told her my ideas and somehow she was able to make movies, plays, songs and television programs from my ideas. It did not happen all at once, but over some period of years.
I said to her “There should be a play about Cats.” And a play called “Miss Saigon ... a love story.” And “Phantom of the Opera” based on the horror story.
Then there were the movies: I thought of the names for: American Gigalo, Big, Back to the Future, Crocodile Dundee, Dirty Dancing, Flashdance, Footloose, Good Morning Vietnam, Earth Girls are Easy, Forrest Gump, Lost Boys. Risky Business, Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan, Stayin’ Alive, Union City (starring Deborah Harry of Blondie, shot in my hometown, and an epic love story remake of Titanic.
Some of the television programs: Ally McBeal, BayWatch, a sitcom with Jerry Seinfeld. Xena, I made up the name, about a woman warrior in ancient times.
Then there were the songs: the group Blondie were friends with this woman, and she gave the the ideas I had for most of their hits. Atomic, Call Me, Heart of Glass and Union City Blue, a song Deborah Harry wrote about me. I know Deborah Harry was a friend of this woman who I only knew by her nick name “Dondi.”
I want to get the recognition and royalties for these ideas for movies, plays, songs and television programs. But as I have no written proof, I am unable to prove my claims to sue Dondi and Deborah Harry for “conspiracy to defraud me.” So I hope you can help me contact Deborah Harry and see if she will admit finally that she did defraud me of my rights to royalties for most of her hit songs. I thank you.
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Our elected leaders will be pleased to learn this is the biggest problem in Washington.
From: XXXXXXXXX@aol.com
CC: FIRSTLADY@WHITEHOUSE.GOV
A CAPITAL CITY HAS MUCH TO DO WITH SOCIO-ECONO LIIFE OF A NATION. .. SHOULD NOT BE THE LARGEST CITY OF A NATION/STATE
SHOULD NOT BE NAMED AFTER A MALE PERSON..
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